


Feeling's Need To Be Numbed

by naturallesbain



Series: Dealing With My Problems [5]
Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anorexia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27707666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naturallesbain/pseuds/naturallesbain
Summary: Steve's chapter in this series.Please read tags before continuing.
Series: Dealing With My Problems [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967866
Kudos: 8





	Feeling's Need To Be Numbed

His times running out, I can see it in the way his eyes get duller and duller. 

Soda can’t work as much anymore, getting more and more winded; sweaty. 

Yet he refuses to take off his shirt. 

I know why, he doesn’t know I know, though. 

I know he skips meals, knows he throws up whatever he eats. 

I start buying him gum until I can figure out how to get him to eat again, the small sugar-filled five-cal things keeping him alive. 

I know he doesn’t sleep in the same bed as Pony any more, too.

The kid finally lost his nightmares. 

Except when Pony lost them, I gained them. 

I wake up in cold sweats each night, the thought of someone taking me away or repeating the scene of my mom walking out on me running through my head each time I closed my eyes. 

It’s horrible and I don’t know what to do. 

I seek comfort afterward, but lord knows my dad would never even hug me -learned that the hard way- so I go to the bottle. 

I don’t care how much money I blow on alcohol, just as long as the gnawing sensation goes away and I don’t have to feel so emotional. 

So I drink. 

It’s my way out, now. 


End file.
